The Size of Your Heart Does Matter

We make it our aim... to be well pleasing to Him.

- 2 Corinthians 5:9

I always bear the attitude of "putting God first in everything that I do." Well, it was not easy at first. But as time goes by, I got used to it and involved Him in the things that I do. It is tough, trust me. Though you knew that your main purpose is to glorify Him, but sometimes you tend to stray away from the goal.

To be honest, you need to have a sacrificial and willing heart in order to do so. You have to ask yourselves, are you willing to keep at a low profile ? Even if you are already at a high profile which people have already known you for who you are, can you ignore those compliments given to you ?

In many occasions, I always nodded and thank them when they gave me compliments about my efforts and contributions; most of it from my works in the Floorball association and league. You can say that I am being humble, but I do not take compliments seriously. Often, I treat it as a motivational tool for me to strive and glorify God even better.

My friends always said that I am a very competitive person, which I admit that I am. But in my competency, I tend to be nervous and afraid of mistakes. I can make silly mistakes easily, this is one of my flaws. When nervousness strikes, I will have no idea what I am doing.

But at the end of the day, whether or not I did it great or badly, I know that God only looks what is inside your heart. It is just like the scene of the widow's offering in Luke 21.

As he looked up, Jesus saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. "I tell you the truth," he said, "this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on."

Even though our gifts to God are small, but He is happy when we give our all to Him. Who said you need to earn a million dollars in order to please God's heart ? What matters most to Him is your heart. I always give Him my very best, even when I am tired or scared, I will still do the task given. That is because as long as my God is with me, I have no fear and will do all things well through Him.

What is Wrong With me ?

What is wrong with me ?

I used to be one of the fearsome forwards in any match I played. But it seems like I have lost the scoring touch. My goal drought has been extended till 4 matches ! This is not good; my stats are now at 4 games, 0 goals, and 2 assists. Wow, my career low.

I enjoyed the game just now, it was against the National team and it has been a year since the friendly match I had. We lost just now, but 6-4 was a satisfying result if we take into account that we have zero training together and the National team has gone through many tough trainings.

But the biggest issue is that I have lost my form. I played badly recently, like really bad. I used to score in every single game but ever since the League has started, I have slacked a lot. It is time to score, Jethro !

p.s Where did my goal-scoring touch go to ?

Mercy Me - Open the Eyes of My Heart

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord

Open the eyes of my heart

I want to see you, I want to see you

To see you high and lifted up,

Shining in the light of your glory.

Pour out your power and love,

as we sing holy, holy, holy.

Holy, holy, holy

Holy, holy, holy

Holy, holy, holy

I want to see you

Life is Really Fragile

I was kind of outdated till I read the shocking news of the death of Robert Enke, one of Germany's finest goalkeepers. It seems like my busy schedule had taken over most of my times especially in keeping up to the latest sporting news. I admire Robert Enke, not just because he played well for my team in Championship Manager 2008, but overall he is a great keeper. He is lining up to compete for the number 1 goalkeeper spot for the 2010 FIFA World Cup squad for Germany.

Reading the news sort of given me a knock on my head that life is really fragile. This phrase applies to everyone; celebrities, politicians, world-class athletes, average people, in other words, everyone. You might have thought that people like Robert Enke and other celebrities or athletes do not have problems because they are filthy rich. One salary is equivalent to my 10 years of salary if I join the work force in the future. I think Cristiano Ronaldo's basic salary is equivalent to my entire life ! But people like them tend to have more problems than the average people. Like Robert Enke, he has depression for 6 months and no one knew about it except his wife. On the pitch, he seems to be fine in performing his duty as a goalkeeper. But off the pitch, he was also troubled like an average person.

This is the time when I remember that friends and family are very important. We might have forgotten the smallest details of that friend or relative, but we never thought of the chances that these details could lead up to suicidal thoughts in them. Trust me, when things go tougher and tougher, we will tend to think of some "shortcuts" to solve the problems, and that alone is by committing suicide. Yeah, it is a foolish act. But think deeply, if you are in that situation and stuck in it, you might not think that it is foolish.

Of course, it is bad to commit suicide. We have to appreciate life, though we always complain that we are so unfortunate to have such life; like why I am not rich ? And all other "why" questions in our head. But try to think further; shouldn't we be glad enough to be given a life ? I have heard many abortion cases, accidents and all sorts of life-and-death related issues. Aren't we lucky enough to be alive ?

I do have thoughts of escaping from problems, but I do not think of ending my life. You can ask my friends, whenever they said they want to give up on life, I will give them a hard talking or in other words, lecture them. There are many ways other than committing suicide. The only person I would talk to when I am stuck with a problem, I will always talk to God. Yeah, the solution does not come instantly, but there is a sense of peace in mind after the prayer.

God does not encourage us to commit suicide; in fact He encourages us to appreciate life. As quoted by Maggie on her blog.

"Plus, living for Jesus makes life worthwhile. Living for Jesus gives us a reason to live. When we live to serve our own purpose that's when we fall into the trap of life" - Maggie Lim

Jesus did not came to the earth to see us suffer, but He came to give us life; a whole new point of view on life. We used to live in a life bounded by sin, totally. There was no way out to escape from a sinful life. But Jesus came and became that "way", so that we could go back to the Father once again and bond a close relationship with Him. Christianity is not a religion, but it is a relationship. And Jesus is the one who draws us closer to the Father.

One of my favourite verses of the Bible is John 14:6. Jesus said, "I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Me." and in John 3:16, Jesus said," For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."

Jesus is the life, and by ending it with our own hands is like ending the relationship between us and God. I am sure that it hurts God a lot to see His children ending their own lives. Yeah, sometimes we tend to feel sick of life; I do too. But having a life is the most precious things you ever had. And hence, we should appreciate life and not ending it just because of certain issues we faced. When there is a will, there is a way. This quote applies to everyone who is having a problem.

Trust in Him, and He will provide you a way out.

I'll worship at Your Throne

Whisper my own love song

With all my heart I'll sing

For You my Dad and King

I'll live for all my days

To put a smile on Your face

And when we finally meet

It'll be for eternity

And oh how wide You open up Your arms

When I need Your love

And how far You would come

If ever I was lost

And You said that all You feel for me

Is undying love

That You showed me through the cross

I'll worship You my God

I'll worship You my God

I love You

I love You

Forever I will sing

Forever I will be with You

Be with You

Hillsong United - Forever

RIP, Robert Enke.

Hey Monday - Hurricane Streets

The storm is rushing on me

Here's the flood flash

I feel so locked and loaded

Let me out, let me out

Wake up in a wasteland

Where the trees are crashing fast

Make or break

The road explodes

Get out, get out of this town

Live faster, live stronger

Let us speed up

Or get blown over

Time's wasting

How much longer

Before i get myself free

Of these hurricane streets?

Headed for disaster

Way beyond the fear

In the rearview

Watch it all just disappear

Disappear

I don't care where i'm headed

Anywhere but here

Won't waste my life

Can't waste another night

In this town, this town

Live faster, live stronger

Let us speed up

Or get blown over

Time's wasting

How much longer

Before i get myself free

Of these hurricane...

Leaves are blowing down the streets

Wind crawling up our knees

Somebody get the keys

Rain is flowing from the sky

But no fear in our eyes

We're ready to fly

Decisions

"Life is full of decisions, it can be good or bad. But at the end of the day, you have to do it."

Have you ever stopped in front of a crossroad and wonder where should you go ? Well, this is life. I have written a post about "Decision-Making" before, but something just prompted me to write it again. Well, most probably because I have a really big decision to make. It could change my lifestyle as well if I have made that decision.

People always tell me to make a decision that is according to God's will. To be honest, it is easy to make a decision but hard to identify whether or not it is the will of God. Yeah, prayer does help. But are we observant enough to know about it ?

Unfortunately, whether we like it or not, we have to make decisions. It is the one thing that we cannot run away from. We have to face it everyday. Yeah, it can bring good things to you but it can also bring bad things to you. I always say that making a decision is the toughest thing to do in this world. And it is true. Show me someone who says that making a decision is actually easy ? If there is such person, then he/she must be lying or just trying to impress the people around them.

Everyone has different problems; no one can help you in making your decision. Well, they can guide or advise you. But at the end of the day, you are the one who will make that decision. Once you make it, it is better not to regret. There is always a 50-50 outcome in every decision; wonderful or terrible.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. - Prov 3.5-6

Based on the verse above, it is true that we should just leave it to God and trust in Him. Yeah, you might not know whether or not it is according to His will. But you can always trust Him with that decision. God will not leave you alone to handle the problem; He is everywhere because He is omnipresent. And He will be with you all the time.

I will let everyone know about the problem that I am currently facing soon, well at least when I have made the decision. It is the 3rd day since the day I was being asked of that issue. And I have planned to give my decision tomorrow.

Just a note to everyone, prayers will always work. So keep praying as you will find the answer and make a great decision upon it. =)

In Christ alone will I glory

Though I could pride myself in battles won

For I've been blessed beyond measure

And by His strength alone I overcome

Oh I could stop and count successes

Like diamonds in my hand

But those trophies could not equal

To the grace by which I stand

In Christ alone I place my trust

And find my glory in the power of the cross

In every victory let it be said of me

My source of strength, my source of hope is Christ alone

In Christ alone will I glory

For only by His grace I am redeemed

And only His tender mercy

Could reach beyond my weakness to my need

Now I seek no greater honor

Than just to know Him more

And to count my gains

But losses to the glory of my Lord

Brian Littrell - In Christ Alone

A Historical Day

"The tale of how the no.12 creates history tomorrow. He will be bearing the 'To God be the Glory' attitude in the match."

I have not felt this nervous ever since my glory days in football; my big day against the Malaysian National team last year; and last but not least, playing for Salibandy!Co. against Singapore ITE this year.

Tomorrow, I will be playing against Subang Rascals, a team that is the only threat to Gang Bintang's conquest of the Selangor Floorball League. I always believe that this day will come someday and yes it did. With my increasing reputation in Malaysian Floorball, I would not have believed with my eyes that someday I would be at this level.

I am not a very good player like Khalid, Sjaiful, Deswyn or any other famous Malaysian floorballers in town, but some of them believed that I will be in their level soon. It was their belief in me that kept me going and striving even more. Of course, I have to stop my eagerness to score in a game from ruining my overall performance. Ever since I started playing sports when I was little, I always have the killer instinct. That is why I loved playing strikers or forwards. But it was this killer instinct that affected my performance; it never failed doing so.

Tomorrow, I expect that I will be playing a much more defensive role like what Khalid gave me in the match against Griffins last week. But of course, I am a CHRISTIAN floorballer. All glory and praises I received will all be unto God. Without Him, I do not think that I would have made this far. Started playing this sport a year ago, I would say that I am really lucky to have so many experienced and great players who are willing to teach, guide, and eventually nurture me into a who I am today.

It will be my toughest match so far, but I am sure that Gang Bintang will do it again and probably continue the scoring streak. May God bless both sides.

Friends Love Each Other

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. — Proverbs 17:17

I am very much of an introvert whenever I meet new friends. Yeah, I know many of you who are close to me will say that I am not an introvert. But to be honest, I actually prefer to be quiet and just spend the rest of the day without talking much. For some situations, I have to talk a lot because the topic might be interesting or I just feel like talking a lot.

Personally, I do not like to have conflicts with anybody. Even if I have, I will not fight back because I stand for my own beliefs. Of course, I am not saying that I am always right but sometimes you have to avoid conflicts by not fighting back. After all, you will truce with that person in the future. So why fight while you can just be friends and forget about it ?

Over the week I have encountered many bad happenings in Floorball. Last week, Khalid told me to be careful when I play in the match because it was against my former team and that I have been warned by my teammates to be careful whenever I had an encounter during the match. True enough, I was tossed around like nobody's business but I was not mad at them because it was a game and it happens all the time.

Even in mid week, I received bad claims by them and yeah, I held back and do not want to take it personally because I was at fault too but I decided not to start a verbal war. Some supported me, some did not. Well, I cannot do anything about it but to get on with it. I cannot let things like these to distract me especially when the League has already begun. My performance last week was not at its best. I admit that I did not play well. Just like what Arizal said during debriefing, the team did not play well though we scored so many goals. I guess focus is the most important element in our life. If we lose focus, then everything will fall apart.

But I believe that God has been with me all these while, I forgive my former teammates for all the criticisms just like how God has forgiven us in the first place. I personally do not think that it is worth fighting for it as they are also my brothers and sisters in Christ. After all, I should focus more on long term friendship than losing one in just a night.

I thank God for granting me patience. If it was the usual me, then I know that I will definitely respond to it with unethical behaviour. And that is so not how a Christian should behave. I accept the criticisms and swallow it in like a man. All those criticisms were not serious compared to what my Lord has gone through. My God is truly an awesome God and He will be there for me and everyone in this world no matter what.

Jersey Promotion !

Anyone wants to buy the new exclusive Gang Bintang jersey ? Now you have the chance to grab it at a great rate of RM35.00. It is for all Floorball fans and friends of any players. Basically, it is for everyone. Just let me know if you are interested =)

The design will be up soon once I received the jersey tomorrow. The club will be revealing the new jersey tomorrow (31st of October) in the match against KLIUC Griffins. It will be held at Sports Plaza, Section 13 at 12:00pm. Be there if you are curious.

p.s the "Punisher" skull is not featured in the jersey due to low budget - according to Khalid. LOL !